My learning in the first 6 months...of an IT Career !!!

I wouldn't say..this post covers all my learning....But yeah these 6 months...did help me get rid of all my myths regarding a high profile career in management...:::

Here's what I observed..::

The life of a middle level manager..(Anybody under the ProDuct manager ie "the man who directly and finally is responsible for delivering the product to the customer" is my definition a product manager) :::

* Its a slaves job....with a kings salary..
* U are pressurized from the higher ups n u have to shield the ppl working underneath.
* You work never gets over in the stipulated time and u are always over worked...
* You invariably have to carry work home ... in return for the stars you carry on your shoulder (the funky official cell phone and the latest lap top)
* You are never allowed to relax n take a deep breath... Until the project is relasesd
* When the project is released n you finally peek out for the one month (short) vacation...You get an emergency call ... saying the product has one bug in the alpha version n if u aren't there...this will move on to the beta version...And that amounts to XXX Crores loss..!!! WOW!!! "
* And thats when pressure builds from close to ur heart...Your wife screams.."Why don't you just throw that god forsaken cell phone in the bin when you go for a vacation... Make a choice on what you want on your lap- the laptop/me (Oh yeah...your wife better watch her weight before making such statements)!!! PJ...
* Now can you imagine a nice central focus point, and three stings pulling you from each direction......n being a cool n level headed man...You still smile n say "Hey my life is under full control.." n try to catch that precious 4 hour nap..n start off with another new project, n another deadline......!!!

And...the viscious cycle continues...

Phew....Kya zindagi hai :)) !!!!

The story of the missing 'H'

To start off...I've lived up to the name of my blog the last few months...Total lack of coherence. Was caught up with some feline instincts, but later realised that cats have a problem with me...A strong repulsion...:(

Neways, let me start off with this post. Now a days, I've pretty much got used to seeing my name as Deepti, probably thats how my parents should have christened me..but alas, being a typical South Indian (May I emphasize Mallu), they choose DeeptHi instead.

Guess this issue never cropped up all these days coz', people never had to refer to my name in written conversations, except for friends, who would jolly well opt for one of my many nick names...Jo, Anjala, Deeps, Deepu. But when I joined Motorola, the official conversations, the formalities, the forms, the team mails, the Americans, the Chinese,...all started 'mattering' to me. And there started began 'the story of the missing 'H'' !!!!

The very first day at job, even before induction, my manager spelt my name as Deepti. After all amidst all those official formalities, I could not correct him. After all how does an 'H' matter? Big deal !!! Thankfully I got to fill all the forms myself and I could retain "my H" in the required fields. I thought probably the next time ppl use my name, they would look at the email ID and learn/realise and correct themselves. But alas..!!! That remained a mere WISH!!!

After about 3 months, we had to fill out the details in our appraisal sheet. My manager filed in some good comments (after all how much can you comment about an employee who has worked for 2.5 months of which one full month was spent in induction trainings). But again finally in the comment, he used Deepti....This time I wanted it corrected. Motorola has very clear and transparent appraisal policies and my manger very magnanimously messaged each of the 30+ employees reporting to him and asked us if we had an issue. I gathered courage and told him "I have one issue...My name is DeeptHi and not Deepti"...He immediately apologised and made amends. WOW!!! I thought my troubles are over...but then...NO!!! The next day my mail box had the same ERROR and I could do nothing about it..!!!

The other day (5 months down the line) I happened to have loads of work, and was sitting at my Mangers desk attending a conference call. Amidst all the official hulla-bulla, I noticed that in the Instant messanger my name again gathered back at me with a wink and a sly smile...saying.."No H...no H..!!!"...Phew!! Ego issues...(Name has a lot to do with ego, u see)!!! I very politely told my manager, "P#$%^#, I have a small issue, you have misspelt my name"..!!! A very jovial person that he is, he smiled and spelt it right for the rest of the conversation!!! Mind you...the correction lasts, only till the end of 'one' conversation..!!! I really dunno why!!!

All this was okay...After all managers are busy people, thay can't keep track of etymological hassles, but the problem deteriorated, when the habit (what spreads over a period of 6 months and more is called a 'habit') started spreading to my team mates. Now most of my team mates refer to me as Deepti.....Infact even those who earlier cared to spell right have gone astray !!!

And you might wonder what inspired me to break my silence and blog...My roommate..(Yes a person who can afford to spend time and spell my name right)..Also referred to me as Deepti..!!! Did somebody very correctly say..."It all lies in a NAME"..!!! :)

Moto Annual Day

Venue : Taramati Baradari
Simply Fabulous :)

After a two year span..Motorola decided to celebrate its Annual day in a big way...And the venue couldn't have been any better.

~~~ The Rights and Wrongs of Life !!! ~~~

This thought would have come to every body's mind at some stage or the other in life. There are times when we simply sit back and wonder, are there bounds to our thoughts ? The so called "self imposed restrictions" on ourselves which make us feel rather "disciplined" and in full controls of our lives ?
I fall into the category of a typical Indian girl, brought up in Chennai, in a brahmin majority school n society. As a part of my upbringing, developed and imposed on myself some of those "rules", which defined the do's n dont's of my life. I very unassumingly followed these rules until a few days back, when I had a long conversation with my cousin who was about to set out on her tryst with college life. And as an elder sister, I tried passing on some of those values, but along the conversation arose the urge to reconsider the 'rules'. To probably sit back and analyze as to what made me make the rules and what IF I break them. Why at all pass on the tradition without a version control ???

Some of those things I told her

>> Ensure that you have a good girls gang, a set of girls who would always help you draw that fine line of difference between the "right and wrong" when your young mind sometimes forgets how to think sane.

>> "Maturity" is a very subjective word, and its definition and scope differs from person to person, always remember, when the world around you does not understand your thoughts, its not that you are wrong, it is just that they need more time.

>> Make loads of friends, but girl, remeber, until 21, its too early to commit. There would be many such occasions when you would just wonder, whats wrong if I say "I do"...But Halt....If you are sure your relation can stand the test of time, hold on till 21, and if the guy cares, he would respect your decision.

>> A late night movie, post 7 PM beach, late night bike ride, with a guy, unless its quite warranted, should be avoided, unless you know the guy really well. (But the loophole is, this level of trust is completely left to your discretion.)

>> Drinking n smoking are no crime. But when it comes to choosing you intimate friends, ensure that you can trust them at all times of the day, or be aware as to when you can and when you can't.

>> There's a fine line of difference between being 'assertive' and being 'arrogant'...Learn to play your cards right with the right people and, this is a skills that can only be mastered with time.

And many more........

But as I told her all this, all of a sudden I realized, some of them were not really necessary, I'm sure most of you would say, which generation are you talking about girl ? Probably now I agree. In fact, at the end of this conversation, I told my young sis as to how I had broken most of these rules and when and why ...!!! I somehow felt she should know.

None of these were imposed, nobody asked me to draw boundaries, infact, unlike most moms, my mom never gives me a lecture on the do's n dont's....She simply says, "take care, and always, ensure that you are in a position to answer to your conscience"!!!

People who know me today, wouldn't exactly brand me conservative, I've changed, transformed, but yeah, each change was initiated by my surroundings, from a petite young girl, who always adhered to the rules, to a girl, who has learnt to sway with the tide. The journey was great n exciting....

But yeah...Finally I did tell her one thing, when you learn to sway with the tide, you better learn how to avoid the risky highs, a small mistake..n its just seconds before you drown, and if you take care, its the most adventurous ride....Called youth !!!!

~~~ The man of genius : flip side ~~~

A short compilation on the flip side of the life of a man of genius !!!

Einstein the man behind relativity (and much more) was also a very romantic guy..and that was not just till those early twenties but much beyond.

A little bit on his early days:

Einstein’s family made gadgets, they owned a power and lighting systems company and that was as good as being introduced to the computer industry in our times…lucky chap! But then later his family moved to Italy and he was left behind in Munich. He dropped out of school and then this guy tried to study engineering in Zurich. Geniuses also falter somewhere…our fundoo was poor at literature. So, Einstein was sent to a prep school for a season. And this is the place where he meets the “first” girl of his life (or may be that’s what I read up until now! ) That season he stays with the Wintelers family, a big, boisterous intellectual family. There he meets Marie, one of the Winteler daughters. Two girls from the family were married off to Einstein’s family and his parents liked Marie a lot! So, things were falling in place…but then how much did this “ramba” affect his academic life? At that age, 15, he had started thinking of light wave and ether, about the issues that relativity would eventually solve. He tried to imagine what would happen if he could travel along with the light ray. What would he see? But even if he were traveling with the light wave, the light wave would still look like it was zipping past him at the speed of light. This was a paradox that bothered him, a lot. Maxwell’s’ eqn says that light travels at a particular speed but they never says what speed you are traveling at!

So, how much did college life transform our scientist…? This class nerd..having the image of a guy immersed in his math book transformed into a very attractive guy , with a lot of charisma and personality. Coming back to his love life, Einstein never married Marie. There was this new girl , his classmate in college, Mileva who stole his heart. She was an intellectual force whom Einstein enjoyed to reckon with and it was he who fell for her. He chased her round in college for a year .She had done a lot of hardwork to get to college. It was really commendable for a girl to pursue a scientific career in those days and she was the only female in the all guys class. She was so much committed to her academic career that she dropped out of school for half a year to clear her mind and she decided that getting involved with Einstein was not the best thing for her career. But he won her over at the end. They spent a lot of time discussing the “out of curriculum” (so, may be she had a lot to contribute in the theory of relativity) stuff and that meant low grades. After graduation, without a job, they spent a lot of time together, they had a reunion and went on a trip across the alps. She got pregnant…uh oh..that meant a lot of trouble for his career. He got the famous patent office job in Bern and she went to Serbia to have the baby. We really don’t know what wonders that baby could have bestowed to the world!!! She went back to Bern without the baby! Living in the Swiss society with a Siberian girl friend , having an illegitimate kid was the last thing he could afford and she made the supreme sacrifice, giving away the child to preserve his career. Eventually they married and she ended up becoming a housewife waiting for his return everyday to discuss some physics. But all this while may be Einstein was not all that perturbed. That was the time when he published his paper on relativity and another very important paper on then the quantum theory of light. He became more and more famous and left his patent office job and got a university job and Mileva was with him through all these years and more. But he pretty much forced her out of the vital center of his life, that is, physics. Every one would agree when I say Mileva’s is indeed a very sad story. After all she never got a degree, never got to do any science, ended up doing a lot of housework and was forgotten by history.

Now the story takes a turn and enters our third heroine. Elsa, in 1912, Einstein went to Berlin and there he had a reunion with his cousin Elsa. Both of them had intense correspondence and then Mileva intercepted their correspondence.. shorltly after that Einstein was recruited by Max Plank. Germany was all set to invest a lot on Einstein’s Quantum theory and he was given an amazing offer to go to Berlin which he simply couldn’t refuse. After that, finally he had got a job with more money and no students. And Elsa was always there to help out with things on the German end. There he started working on his general theory of relativity. And that was all he did for the next couple of years. He lived aloof in an apartment with lot of paper strewn all around him. One of his friends described his working habits as follows: "he works until you drag him away, then you give him some food, he eats until it's gone, you put him in bed, he sleeps until you wake him up, and then it all starts all over again. He was completely obsessed." Hey that’s called grit and determination…getting inspired eh? :)

All this while he had a lot of trouble with Mileva and finally divorced her and married Elsa, in 1919 and their marriage carried on till 1936 when Elsa died. But during the 1920’ s Albert had lot of affairs in Berlin. May be he wasn’t really happy with a wife who didn’t know physics, unfortunately may be he didn’t recognize that this wasn’t the case with his first wife.

So, what would you conclude about the other side of this man of genius..?

May be he always lived a life of anticipation, ever yearning for the next thing, always envisioning a better life.

"Einstein always felt paradise was round the corner, but as soon as he got there, it stared looking shabby and something better appeared. "

~~~~~Forgive and Smile~~~~~~

Lemme start off with an incident ::

Scene :: Malaviya bahavan, BITS, Pilani
Time :: 3:00 PM
Situation :: Right side of the PI wing .... 80% of the inmates, enjoying their mid-afternoon nap

TRING..TRNG....TRING.....TRING....TRING.....TRING....TRING....TRING....

The alarm rings...n rings n rings...n rings...!!1 For about 2 minutes everybody simply waits for the alarm to "somehow stop"...But no....it doesn't!!! Another 2 minutes....n then ::

A (Room 253) : Hey, whose this....Switch off the alarm..."Neram kalam teriyama......"..@##$$%%....
A` (Room 249) : (The impact is a but too much here, gets up from the bed and steps out.....
To her dismay the source of origin is the very next room(250) and the room is LOCKED !!! She screams back.....) She's not there in the room junta.....there's nothing we can do..!!!

By now the entire wing has gathered in front of the room...After a 2 minute discussion they realize that there is no way they can contact the 'culprit...all they can do is wish for an auto alarm switch off... , and if the clock has no such mechanism, wait for the battery to drain.!!! Fortunately for them, the cacophony ended n 15-20 minutes and the whole wing decided to simply "broil" the inmate when she is back..!!!

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Scene : My flat in Hyderabad
Time : 7:00 AM on a Monday morning
Situation : Despite the continuous rains, our flat has water supply for 2 hours in the morning, and the considerate house owner had arranged a mechanism where in water is stored in two mini tanks placed in the loft!!! Every day one of us, turn on the water tap, let the tanks fill in, and moment the water level indicator (an overflow tap) alerts, turn the tap off !!!! The important point is, a 5 minute delay in turning off the tap would mean.......an overflow, and a pool of water that flows from the dining room to the bedrooms to the drawing room....(this can be an irreparable mess at 8:00AM..)!!!
I woke up, turned on the tap, considering the wake up time a bit too early, went back to bed to stretch myself with a morning newspaper in hand !! My roommate who usually wakes up early was also peacefully seeping!!!
All of a sudden I could hear water pouring down from the top, and that was the water tank overflowing.....Too much damage was done. My room mates and I popped up from bed, and the clean up procedure was something completely unwarranted on a fresh new Monday morning....So, much for waking up early !!!

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Scene : My 5th floor cubicleat office
Time : 6-7 PM , Friday
Situation :: After listening to all my adventures with the auto drivers, one of my friends 'S' magnanimously offered to drop me home most of the evenings, when ever we could leave office at the time. Since intense project phases haven't begun we coordinate and wrap up work with a +/- half hour lag!!!! As usual she called me at 6:30 n said, "Deeps, do we make a move ?", I had finished my days work and was about to wrap up things, I said, "Yup, in another 5 mins, I'll meet you close to the ground floor lift" !!! She works in the first floor and I, in the 5th floor, and the ground floor lift always served as a good meeting place, where a 5 to 10 minute delay wouldn't be too boring !!!
In about two minutes, one of my friends in the 5th floor called me over to his desk for some clarification. I went over thinking, I'd finish the conversation in 2 minutes, lock the computer and make a move....BUT, in 10 minutes time, we were 7 in the cube, and got into a controversial discussion and I completely lost track of time. Meanwhile, I had left my cell in my draw ( "ethical me" always ensures that the cell is in silent-vibration mode)..!!! 'S' calls me many times, tries to reach me at my extension and after a good 20 minute wait in the ground floor, comes up all the way to the fifth floor !!!!
The moment I see her, I suddenly descend back to the real world and check my watch......

............................................................................................................

There are many more such instances, ........

During most of these instances, I would feel very guilty about what happened, tell a million "sorry"s and ensure that I make amends in more than one possible way !!! BUT what I am talking about is the response of the affected people..!!! In each of these situations I got a different response !!!!

The first one.... After all the initial firing when I finally said "Sorry !!!", with that innocent smile....They did say "pona poruthu Jo...with a smile"!!! Ofcourse, I actually got kick bumps that night and a promise, that someone like me who does not sleep in the afternoon should not set the alarm at the such an 'unearthly hour' !!!! Next time the alarm rings --> the first room to check would invariable be --> 250 !!!

The second one .....Phew !!! I spent about 20 minutes cleaning up the place!!! my roommates somehow very whole heartedly gave me a Smile n said "Its Okay"..!!! Here again, the next time I get up first, my room mate does remind me to keep awake n prevent "a pool"....before turning in her bed and taking a rare half hour extra nap !!! :)

The last one ....... 'S'...is a gem of a girl...She probably knows mistakes do happen and they are not intentional.....She gave me a sweet smile and said "Its okay...Do we go now?"..!!! It was so much of a relief seeing that pleasant smile on her face, that the next time 'leaving time'...I reach the spot a minute before her !!!

Its very easy to scream at the 'cuprit', and blame him/her for hours on end in such situation, when the mistake is obvious and there are no excuses..!!! But it takes a lot and leaves a lasting impression, when you simply forgive and smile..!! When the person concerned is already 'so guilty'...why add on to it?

Mind you what you control is a 'momentary irritation',but what you gain is 'a relationship for life'. ...............!!!! :)

"To err is human...to forgive is divine"

~~~~ Parineetha ~~~~~~

This movie made me wonder if I have a subtle silent dual personality..?? :)) !!! I landed in Hyderabad on 20th June and since then have been waiting to watch the movie. All I heard was bhaiyya's review that said, its a different movie...watch it for sure. But then, things don't always happen the way you plan it and one month down the line (which included a one week vacation) I had still not seen the movie. Finally it so happened that my roommates watched the movie and gave me simple one line review..."You should watch the movie girl...Its too good!!!"
They were in so much love with the songs, that they got a cassette along on their way back after the movie. The songs were simply too good!!! The song sequence somewhere let out the links in the story and the best catch about the movie - "subtle expression of love (Piyu Bole), I am sure nobody would counter me ...Vidya Balan's eyes speak" !!!
Another week passed and by now every one around had seen the movie, be it in office, home or good old friends in the city, EVERYONE had seen it !!! Now this was too much for me to take. That evening I found the book 'Parineetha' in the bookrack at home. A voracious reader that my roomy is, she was simply in love with the movie and wanted to read the book. I couldn't hold my excitement. Immediately as she finished the book, I read it up in two hours!!! Amazing, I could visualize the very scene. The huge bungalow, the beautiful, smart and vibrant Lalitha and the typical Bengali babu Shekhar!!! I liked it !!!

My review ->
"What a nice way of depicting the Indian woman, the subtle expression of emotions, the significance of marriage in an Indian society, the concept of husband - the first and last man in a woman's life !!!"......

Next weekend I finally managed to watch the movie, all alone !!! No sypathies, I somehow enjoy watching movies alone (Provided I like it n it is not a horror movie !!!) But now, I didn't exactly like the movie as much as I thought I would..!! Probably its coz' of the expectations that peaked at the end of a month...!!! "Bas theek tha...2 n half hours of entertainment"..!! Dunno what exactly took over the "opinion cells" of my brain, but after the movie, my review was pretty much negative. ->

"What's so special about the movie, just another love story, in fact nowhere near the kind that a contemporary woman would approve of !!!?? !! The last 10 minutes of the movie, with Shekhar gaining those superhuman powers n breaking the wall and the unrealistic demonstartion of support from family members, stole the charm of the movie. I understand the story is set in 1962, but still this scene could have been better depicted. (The book also has a happy ending, comparitively put across in a less melodramatic fashion) !!! But then, hey! the songs are too good!!! The lyrics of Tagore have outlived the test of time!!!"

What a paradigms shift in a matter of 15 days...My ideas and opinions are sure going on a rollercoaster ride !!!

Kasto mazza hai lelaima

Ramailo o kaali odhali.....

Goals and aspirations !!!

It all strated in my first standard, when the teacher asked each and every student in class "So, what do you want to become when you grow up?", and each one of us had an answer. Guess that was the age when I could not attach any more significance to my answers, but frankly don't remember what I answered. I do remember one of my friends answering, "I want to be a baker, I'll get to eat cakes the whole day", and the whole class laughed.

Year after year, my teachers repeated the same question and each time I gave them a different answer. Then came 10th standard and here I was at the first cross road, deciding between commerce and science stream. All I knew was, papa is an engineer, bhaiyya took up the science stream, then why not me. Commerce was meant for people who were not very good at the science streams, when u can make a 95, go ahead, n dare to take the science stream. No second thoughts I ticked Science. (Little did I realize then that a Chartered Accountants position is one of the most coveted positions and a flair for numbers does go a long way in making a fine CA)!!!!

Then came the next choice - Biology/Comp Sc/Sanskrit, the whole idea of dissection seem(ed)s scary to me !!! My Biology teacher tried here mighty bit to convince me, CBSE introduced an alternative plant dissection option, BUT still I did not budge, I was really scared of "dealing with human lives" and this simply meant- cross out Biology..!!! Next on the list was Comp Sc, C++ is something that you can always learn with time, you don't have to 'risk' your board marks for that, "take up Sanskrit core and learn a language that takes you closer to your roots". I followed the advice. These were the only options available, 'Arts' group was never in the picture and thinking on those lines was illogical, "if you can study well, you should restrict yourself to the science group", and this was an untold rule..!!!

I went ahead with my decision, Engineering was the only option and fortunately for me BITS, Pilani happened. With a dual degree option along with Physics (one decision I don't repent, coz' somehow Physics was my first love), I got one full year to decide my branch of engineering. Computer science scared me off and the next best option was Electrical And Electronics. Moving with the mob I went on with the next decision. Final year, I finally got the time to sit back and think -- "Is this what I wanted in life"..?? Did I always want to be an engineer? Do these circuit and signals and codes and state diagrams 'fascinate' me...?? Guess it was a bit too late to selfintrospect...???

One year hence, I am still not sure what exactly fascinates me!!! But yeah atleast now I do identify as to what does not fascinate me....Probably the first step to learning is realizing once ignorance...And the best reassurance came, when one of my managers asked the new batch of freshers during induction training "How many of you chose engineering as a stream coz' YOU wanted to purse engg"....and the number of people who boldly raised their hands were less than 30%..!!!! Looks like I'm not alone..!!!! :)

The perfect match !!!

This blog is the consequence of a long conversation I had with two of my friends who represented a larger community, the guys vs me..!!! And the topic of conversation -> "What exactly do we look for in other sex?". Oh yes can I see that "now common don't u know what we look for" expression --> To make perspectives clearer, we were talking about life partners..!!! Now do I hear a "Okay jokes apart, get to business"..!!! That is probably the difference, this is the only question that probably gets the undivided attention of any a 24-26...(+/- 2)..!!! All of a sudden he/she starts thinking about looking at the other sex with a different eye, with a new perspective, a 'will you be my perfect match' look ?

Probably each of us know what we seek, but there would be very few who can say for sure, that they know how to go about it. Is it an easy task..?? Most of us leave it to our parents. After all, they brought us up, they know whats best for us. BUT there are a few amongst us who consider it worthwhile to play an active part, when the most significant decision of our life is taken. And lastly comes the category of bold, proactive people who are confident, that if there's anybody in this world who can find "my perfect match --> its ME"!!! Somehow end of the day all of us fall into one of these three categories !!!

Heart in heart, each of us are equaly concerned, and would like to ensure that we get the person of our dreams, someone who will not only be 'the best', but also ensure that he/she brings out the best in us!!! It might not be easy to put in metrices n quantifiers and probably this is one of the most abstract things that any human being would talk about and "quantifying requirements" (every software engg knows what I'm talking about) is simply impossible !!! :)

So, how do you go about the hunt? The first approach : Simply sit down n wait, following the DTPH funda "Someone somewhere is made for me ...and when he or she is around, you'll automatically feel the vibes"...Wow!!!That seems cool !!! If that were the case then there should be no broken hearts and no love failures, after all the vibes are two sided..!!! You got to be really fortunate for it to work both ways, and I guess that is rare...in fact I guess it works for very few..!!! So, what next, tell papa mamma....that "hey I really can't handle this mess...!!! U've ensured that I get 'the best' all my life, so here I hand you the most important decision of my life..Find me my bride/groom"...Done..!!! Sit back and RELAX!!! They do all the work, hand in a "chat ID" n say "beta, I've done all the ground work, now you check out your compatability and in one month, if you both find it okay....then 'chat mangni pat biyah'", and if things don't exactly work out between the two, then, we go about the whole process again!!! Now a "yes/no" in a months time is not all that easy, or is it?? Making the most important decision of your life in a month, over mails/chat??? Bill Gates has done quite a lot to ensure that young couples have their share of fun...But !!! Do most people succeed in makung the right decision ????

And then comes the final option, I look out on my own for the man/woman of my dreams!!! Now how easy is that. Along with the decision comes a big responsibility, THE COMPLETE responsibility of your life. This time no parents, no mama mami, no relatives, nobody will take ownership of your decision!!! You need the strength of charatcter and the maturity to see the obvious and probably the not so obvious traits in your counterpart. Probably people say 'love is blind'...but complete blindness can lead to long term short sightedness !!!So, probably a little bit of foresight and vision and sensible thought might go a long way in ensuring, that your "search result" perfectly matches your "search string"..!!! :) And finally you need a lot of conviction in your decision before you say "I do"..!!!! ....

Ofcourse as the song goes....

I just want a man with a real soul
Who wants equality and not control

I just want a man good and smart
A really sharp mind and a very big heart

I just want a man not scared to weep
To hold me close when we’re asleep

Ohhh yeah….

I  just want a man who loves romance
Who’ll clear the floor and ask me to dance

I  just want a man who likes to sing
Makes up words when I play the strings

I just want a man who gives some back
Who talks to me and not my rack

I just want a man who likes to cook
To read my dreams and share my books

I just want man whose spirit is free
To hold my hand, walk the world with me 

~.~

When will 'all' men learn to respect women !!!!???!!!

Okay...if u are a guy and still wanna read this blog, please go ahead. I really want you to know what made me write this, n hey girls, I'm sure u agree with me on this issue!!! Exceptions exists, in fact there are quite a few people around who do respect or atleast pretend to respect all women, but then given a chance I would love to record a conversation, involving the same chap, in a no-female room !!! Atleast my experience proves that there are very few guys who can respect all women, in all forms, at all times, and that reflects a lot about the guy!!! A few harmless comments, a few silly jokes are absolutely okay, but the inherent respect in a guys mind for every woman is very important, and I believe thats one of the most important traits is a 'good' man!!!

In the higher strata, its the comments and respect factor, in the lower strata, you can forget the external polish..!!! Its either too much of generosity and respect or absolute ruthless behaviour!!!
What makes me write all this. A simple incident in an auto! As usual, at the end of the day I waited on the busy road for an autorishaw, and let me tell you, convincing at auto driver to come to a place where the auto fare comes to at the max 20 is a BIG task!!! Fortunately today the second auto that stopped agreed to come...He said "Madam! Banjara Hills raste se chalenge!!!"...My major constrain was to reach home and a 2 Rupee extra, or a small deviation was absolutely okay!!!

I said fine, and trust me for the next 15 minutes I prayed to god, made all possible confessions, thought of all the sins I had committed, all promises I hadn't kept, any curses I got!!! All of a sudden a life insurance policy seemed very important to me!!! There's a very common trait in autodrivers that I have observed, those who sit with a right or a left tilt (in most cases they are unusually thin) are VERY rash drivers !!! Every 5 seconds he screeched to a halt, millimeters close to a living or non living object (that was immaterial to him)!!!

I urged him to slow down, but this man never cared to listen, he even refused to stop the vehicle!!! And finally after a complete round trip when I reached my destination he says, " Madam aapke saath ghoomne mein bahut maza aaya, kal milenge"..!!! All I could say was "Mad or what". (And I'm sure he never understood)!!! What could I do at that point of time?

If every girl in India is asked to write all instances of harrasment (mental/physical), she can come up with atleast 10 !!! These instances never come out, you tell mama and she gets tensed, you tell papa and he never lets u travel alone the next day!!! What can you do? Either u scream at the guy then and there, and console your ego or sometimes just consider it as just another part of life and simply forget it!!!

When can I be rest assured that I can walk all alone on the road at 10 in the night and be assured of reaching home safe..?? Will such a world ever exist???

Unconditional love......???!!!

Mamma called up this morning to tell me that she is sending a 'dryfruits-honey lehyam' (chavanprash equivalent) and wanted me to take a one tablespoon dose everyday. At 22, with a good job and an independent life, my parents still pamper me like they did when I was a 2 year old baby.What makes Indian parents love their kids so much...No...I don't mean to say that non-Indian's don't, but then still, what exactly makes the scenario here so different, so unique ? Parents in India don't exactly mind supporting their kids untill they are 'completely independent'....and this is probably the only criterion. Immaterial of your age, be it 25, 30 and in some cases 50, as long as your parents are alive you can be rest assured that you have a shoulder to lean, and probably this is the only quarter where you will get unconditional love !!!

What makes us so unique ? Is it the family bonding,is it the child centric family structure, is it the sense of pride that we associate with our children or is it just a tradition that we follow without a question.

I've had many arguements with my peers convincing them about the different facets of Indian culture that differentiate us from the rest of the world, and off these probably the most important aspect would be the sense of belonging and love in our parents. Ofcourse there are exceptions to the rule, there are people in slums who send their children out to the rough world at an age of 8, not just to fend for themselves but also for the entire family. but still end of the day the bonding is strong and the sense of belonging is deep!


Here's a true life story of a mother who at an age of 79 still tries to ensure that she does her mighty bit to secure her youngest sons(54) future. She's a woman who lost her husband at a very early age and her life was by default laid at the mercy of the joint family system. Her husband was an intellectual genius, he had made a fortune at an early age and was also smart enough to save and invest most of his salary. The only mistake he made was, he never thought it was necessary to teach his wife the nuances of the monetary world, and at a young age of 24 there she was all alone with three small kids and a fortune which she had no clue how to handle!!!

This might sound like just another Hindi movie of the 60s but this is true. The whole world enjoyed a share of her money and she was made to believe that she was living at their mercy. The typical petite Indian woman that she was, she agreed and let life flow past her. She loved her children and probably that was the only reason why she continued to live. But unfortunately, she did not have the guts to stand up for their rights, she did not know how to voice out her opinions. Money that the children rightfully desrved was in abundance , but unfortunately for them, they never got any of those little things that every child yearned for!!! The kids grew, without a father and probably without a strong mother, they grew up, coz' they had to, after all time flows by and you move along with it!!! The older two, learnt to fight, they learnt to live - the hard way, many a time they felt there was nobody to look up to, mama always loved them, but unfortunately she could never fight for them and could not teach them how to conquer the 'bad world'!!! The youngest son, could not fend for himself, and this is when mama's affection came up, she never taught him how to be independent, she always encouraged him to 'depend'... life has moved on, this woman lived a life without happiness for more than 50 years, and still the Indian family struture managed to bring up two children, who lead a very happy and normal life as per society norms. The third son fell a prey and lost track somewhere, but still he has a mother who is still trying her best to ensure that her son has a secure home a steady source of income till death.

Try and write a similar story from another part of the globe...?? Will a woman lead 50 years of her life with no happiness, just to ensure that she is 'there' for her children ? Are we ready to carry this tradition ahead, or are we 'modernising'..?? Is this the right track at all ..??
Why are women not strong enough to stand up for their rights..? Was her sacrifice worth it...would it not have made a big difference had she learnt to fight the 'big world'..!??!!!

The child centric Indian families will continue to strive....Parents at the verge of divorse, single parents with absolutely no inclination to look for another partner...all for one cause...."my child"...After all....-->

"Enthu paranjalum nee endethu alle vave, ninnu kinnungathe onnu kude poru poove..."..!!!

Do we really know our roots ?

A hindu woman protects a muslim man in Mr&Mrs Iyer, Mother Teresa slogged all her life to save the lives of thousands of Indians. In times of emergency, in times of distress, it doesn't really matter if u are an Indian or a Pakistani, a Hindu or a Muslim, all that matters is the person, the person concealed deep within!!!

We humans have many ways of classifying ourselves, and sometimes these distinctions overpower those subtle similarities. How far can we trace back on the timeline? The moment you make an attempt to go back on the time line, you come across many theories, the Hindu's talk about the Ramayana and the Mahabharatha and probably further back to the Shastras and the Vedas. A Christian might go back to the Bible and talk about Adam and Eve. A Muslim might come up with some other concept.

But then finally haven't we all evolved from a common root, a man and a woman (who probably evolved from an animal) !!! If it were a common root, then what made man split? How did he get dispersed across the oceans ? Or is it that we never had a common root? Man evolved "concurrently" from the ape, at different parts of the globe and each one "adapted" to his surroundings? What is it that made us so different? The climatic conditions, the geographic topology? After all, in the beginning all that man needed was food and shelter, protection, good health and 'the strength to survive' !!! Probably the distinction between people across the continents is justified. But then all of them had one trait in common - the urge to move out and meet other 'fellow humans', and there probably began man's urge to explore, to move on and mix.

At this stage surfaced the big question of 'who would follow whom'? 'who is stronger'? 'who was more confident'? And most importantly 'who communicated best'? And this was when the Europeans 'outdid' all the other fellow humans. And from then on, till date the world has probably evolved into a "vasudaiva kutumbakam", but ironically alongside the necessity to draw clear boundaries and deploy valuable resources to maintain the 'sanctity' of the borders has increased!!! Aren't we talking of contradictory concepts, we can travel faster, we can meet people across borders within a 24 hour cycle, but STILL we need to clearly demarcate our territories!!! And STILL we do not trust fellow humans!!!

Have we evolved from animals at all ? !! ??!!!

Now comes the next important classification, Religion. Religion signifies beliefs. A belief in an ultimate source of strength, a belief in the power within, and probably sometime when man lost faith in the power within he looked up to a stronger force.
This stronger force was termed God, when man felt that there were things that happened the way 'they had to', he consoled himself and drew strength from the unknown power within and gave the source many names. There is another way of looking at it, the concept of a leader, the man who had it in him to take care of himself and take care of the world around. Leader, guru, became the source of light. He was called Gods representative, but probably I would term him as the smarter amongst god's creations.
This elite class of leaders had to convince the 'lesser mortals' and this is probably the origin of the whole range of believes, superstitions, distinctions and classes.

Combining the two concepts- civilization and religion in the context of the Indian subcontinent .

There would have been one civilization in and around the Indian Subcontinent and there would have been one religion. But still today this subcontinent is home to almost every religion know on the planet. How did this happen? Assuming that the historians have got there theories right, its the Hindus who originally lived in India. Now does that mean that all the Muslims and Christians immigrated ? Zooming in a little further, Kerala is a small strip of land in South India, but this land is a home to Hindus, Muslims and Christians. But fundamentally they were all people living in a coastal strip of land. Europeans came, converted a few of them to Christrians. The Mougals converted a few of them to Muslims and a few remained what they were - Hindus. But essentially is the primitive binding force is nature and its topological classification.


What exactly distinguishes me, a Hindu from my Muslim neighbour. We have the same environmental stimuli, we work in the same office, we eat the same food, we drink the same water, in case of an emergency or a natural calamity, we respond exactly the same way !!! Except for the prayer he utters and the prayer I utter, there's fundamentally NO DISTINCTION!!!After all don't all these prayers mean the same, with a few different names ??? Then what exactly makes us question each other so much, what makes us hate each other so much? What ever the caste, creed, religion, nationality, what matters is the person within. And if every human being realizes this, we'll truly have a 'beautiful world. The sense of brotherhood, a sense of equality, love and affection will prevail.

"Religion is the reason, the world is breaking out into pieces, colour of the people, makes us locked in hate, please release us, God, come down and help us, save all the little ones, we need a teacher, you are the only one"..!!! Mind you..I said God...Not Inshallah, Jesus or Krishna !!!

On a shopping spree @ Hyderabad Central

The word shopping brings a smile on any girls face..but to me, its a four to five hour boring ordeal at the end of which the only thing you 'gain' is an 'empty batua'..!!! But then sometimes, you really feel like gifting people and this is one of those instances. I've been earning for an year now, and somehow felt its high time I gifted my dad.

At seven in the evening we (my parents and I ) headed towards Hyderabad Central..., for those who have been to Spencers Plaza at Chennai and Forum at Bangalore, HC is somehow a little smaller.... Probably the cosmopolitan crowd here isn't big enough to call for a better investment !!! No offence Hyderabadis..!!!

We reached the "Men's Section" and all we needed to do was - pick 3 shirts, head right to the billing counter, swipe the card and move on. But papa somehow emphasized that I help him select the shirts and here begins the trouble!!!

All of a sudden it dawned to me that at 22, I had no prior experience of buying shirts, not that its mandatory, but somehow I did feel a little odd. Anyways, there's always a first time and I started off, but then ...Oops!!! Nothing struck my confused right brain, have I not been checking out guys....And then I realized that these colour-complexion combinations never registered in my highly selective n restrictive grey matter !!! All that mattered to me was the 'overall picture'-Tall, fair, handsome....Now the third word gets a affirmative only if the 'overall picture' is perfect !!! This variable has many dependencies - build, feet (how well a person maintains his/her feet does speak volumes about his personality), smile, walk n blah blah blah ...many more not so listable parameters ;)) !!! But all I remembered was binary "Yes..Ok"..."No ..No so okay"..!!! All the other factors were always forgotten!!

After about 10 minutes of search, I left my parents at the Peter England counter, found a comfortable place near the staircase and decided to 'watch' !!! This time the focus was - complexion, build, shirt colour, n probably the brand!!! After about 30 minutes (my parents were still exploring the other brands), I got back to my dad and in a matter of 10 minutes, the selection was done..!!! Hey its not all that difficult eh..!!!

I guess from now on I would add a few more parameters to the attribute 'overall picture' n probably try and derive a few 'valuable lessons' from those not so important parameters..!!! "Rab jaane...kab kis 'skill' ki zaroorat pad jaye"..!!!??!!!

Cost of saving Rs.38 !!!

I have been a resident of Bangalore for the past 5 months and in this period have been to Bangalore City junction , the main railway station twice, n both times in a car with my brother and family. Never did I bother the find out the timings of the subway which connected the railway station to the Kempe-Gowda Bus Terminus, which was actually just across the road.

It was 4:20 in the morning and the train screeched to a halt. Suddenly I woke up from my deep slumber (Amma always said, never sleep 'well' in a train especially when you are travelling alone, but that never works you know), I looked at my watch n the time was 4:20, quickly put stuffs into my bag n slowly disembarked the train. I was told by a very informative co passenger that bus-service starts at 5. Still, the thought of waiting at the station till 5 was a little boring and I decided to 'S>>L>>O>>W>>L>>Y' walk out of the station. I casually climbed down the stairs, watching around, reached the entrance, bought a coffee , sat down for a while and still the time was 4:40 !!! When you want time to move , the inertia of rest seems to be at its best..!!! With loads of peeky eyes staring at me, I decided it was better to move than to sit idle at the entrance, I walked towards the exit gate, n found the subway which connects the railway station to the Kempe-Gowda Bus terminus (effectively just across the road) CLOSED! And on the road I could see quite a few buses on the move. Then I realised, probably the 5 AM constraint was for the subway and not the buses. I looked around for a while wondering what to do and, I could also see a crowd around the road divider, I went closer to realise that the 'gate' had been opened for people to go to the bus Terminus.
Quickly moved along with the crowd, and boarded a bus which read 317 from the front and 314A from the back, since both went via Ulsoor, I was sure I would reach home.
I was too happy with myself, for haviing saved around 80 rupees and found a comfortable seat for myself for Rs.6 !!! Felt like a responsible good girl and comfort at 4:50 in the morning => Sleep. The bus set to motion and I unconsciously dozed off....All of a sudden the lady seated beside me jerked,and I woke up, all I could see was a board that read 'way to krishnaraja puram', oops , I immediaely jumped out of my seat, and asked the driver, "are we past ulsoor?", he almost laughed, then I again asked 'are we past tippasandra', He said yes, (he was very much aware of the fact that my ticket was upto Ulsoor)!!! He finally did wait a little longer at the next stop, helped me with my luggage and said, I can find a bus on the other side of the road.
I climbed down, looked around, now this area was completely new to me and the clock showed 5:25, and it was still dark. I crossed the road, looked for the so called bus stand the driver was talking about, but alas ... not one soul was there..!!! Completely at a loss, suddenly woken up form the "completely happy with myself" state, I decided to forget about money and take an auto. Finally, I reached home for Rs.36!!!

At home after one and a half hours and after a good tour of Bangalore , before sunrise, all for Rs.42!!!!