~~~~ Parineetha ~~~~~~

This movie made me wonder if I have a subtle silent dual personality..?? :)) !!! I landed in Hyderabad on 20th June and since then have been waiting to watch the movie. All I heard was bhaiyya's review that said, its a different movie...watch it for sure. But then, things don't always happen the way you plan it and one month down the line (which included a one week vacation) I had still not seen the movie. Finally it so happened that my roommates watched the movie and gave me simple one line review..."You should watch the movie girl...Its too good!!!"
They were in so much love with the songs, that they got a cassette along on their way back after the movie. The songs were simply too good!!! The song sequence somewhere let out the links in the story and the best catch about the movie - "subtle expression of love (Piyu Bole), I am sure nobody would counter me ...Vidya Balan's eyes speak" !!!
Another week passed and by now every one around had seen the movie, be it in office, home or good old friends in the city, EVERYONE had seen it !!! Now this was too much for me to take. That evening I found the book 'Parineetha' in the bookrack at home. A voracious reader that my roomy is, she was simply in love with the movie and wanted to read the book. I couldn't hold my excitement. Immediately as she finished the book, I read it up in two hours!!! Amazing, I could visualize the very scene. The huge bungalow, the beautiful, smart and vibrant Lalitha and the typical Bengali babu Shekhar!!! I liked it !!!

My review ->
"What a nice way of depicting the Indian woman, the subtle expression of emotions, the significance of marriage in an Indian society, the concept of husband - the first and last man in a woman's life !!!"......

Next weekend I finally managed to watch the movie, all alone !!! No sypathies, I somehow enjoy watching movies alone (Provided I like it n it is not a horror movie !!!) But now, I didn't exactly like the movie as much as I thought I would..!! Probably its coz' of the expectations that peaked at the end of a month...!!! "Bas theek tha...2 n half hours of entertainment"..!! Dunno what exactly took over the "opinion cells" of my brain, but after the movie, my review was pretty much negative. ->

"What's so special about the movie, just another love story, in fact nowhere near the kind that a contemporary woman would approve of !!!?? !! The last 10 minutes of the movie, with Shekhar gaining those superhuman powers n breaking the wall and the unrealistic demonstartion of support from family members, stole the charm of the movie. I understand the story is set in 1962, but still this scene could have been better depicted. (The book also has a happy ending, comparitively put across in a less melodramatic fashion) !!! But then, hey! the songs are too good!!! The lyrics of Tagore have outlived the test of time!!!"

What a paradigms shift in a matter of 15 days...My ideas and opinions are sure going on a rollercoaster ride !!!

Kasto mazza hai lelaima

Ramailo o kaali odhali.....

Goals and aspirations !!!

It all strated in my first standard, when the teacher asked each and every student in class "So, what do you want to become when you grow up?", and each one of us had an answer. Guess that was the age when I could not attach any more significance to my answers, but frankly don't remember what I answered. I do remember one of my friends answering, "I want to be a baker, I'll get to eat cakes the whole day", and the whole class laughed.

Year after year, my teachers repeated the same question and each time I gave them a different answer. Then came 10th standard and here I was at the first cross road, deciding between commerce and science stream. All I knew was, papa is an engineer, bhaiyya took up the science stream, then why not me. Commerce was meant for people who were not very good at the science streams, when u can make a 95, go ahead, n dare to take the science stream. No second thoughts I ticked Science. (Little did I realize then that a Chartered Accountants position is one of the most coveted positions and a flair for numbers does go a long way in making a fine CA)!!!!

Then came the next choice - Biology/Comp Sc/Sanskrit, the whole idea of dissection seem(ed)s scary to me !!! My Biology teacher tried here mighty bit to convince me, CBSE introduced an alternative plant dissection option, BUT still I did not budge, I was really scared of "dealing with human lives" and this simply meant- cross out Biology..!!! Next on the list was Comp Sc, C++ is something that you can always learn with time, you don't have to 'risk' your board marks for that, "take up Sanskrit core and learn a language that takes you closer to your roots". I followed the advice. These were the only options available, 'Arts' group was never in the picture and thinking on those lines was illogical, "if you can study well, you should restrict yourself to the science group", and this was an untold rule..!!!

I went ahead with my decision, Engineering was the only option and fortunately for me BITS, Pilani happened. With a dual degree option along with Physics (one decision I don't repent, coz' somehow Physics was my first love), I got one full year to decide my branch of engineering. Computer science scared me off and the next best option was Electrical And Electronics. Moving with the mob I went on with the next decision. Final year, I finally got the time to sit back and think -- "Is this what I wanted in life"..?? Did I always want to be an engineer? Do these circuit and signals and codes and state diagrams 'fascinate' me...?? Guess it was a bit too late to selfintrospect...???

One year hence, I am still not sure what exactly fascinates me!!! But yeah atleast now I do identify as to what does not fascinate me....Probably the first step to learning is realizing once ignorance...And the best reassurance came, when one of my managers asked the new batch of freshers during induction training "How many of you chose engineering as a stream coz' YOU wanted to purse engg"....and the number of people who boldly raised their hands were less than 30%..!!!! Looks like I'm not alone..!!!! :)

The perfect match !!!

This blog is the consequence of a long conversation I had with two of my friends who represented a larger community, the guys vs me..!!! And the topic of conversation -> "What exactly do we look for in other sex?". Oh yes can I see that "now common don't u know what we look for" expression --> To make perspectives clearer, we were talking about life partners..!!! Now do I hear a "Okay jokes apart, get to business"..!!! That is probably the difference, this is the only question that probably gets the undivided attention of any a 24-26...(+/- 2)..!!! All of a sudden he/she starts thinking about looking at the other sex with a different eye, with a new perspective, a 'will you be my perfect match' look ?

Probably each of us know what we seek, but there would be very few who can say for sure, that they know how to go about it. Is it an easy task..?? Most of us leave it to our parents. After all, they brought us up, they know whats best for us. BUT there are a few amongst us who consider it worthwhile to play an active part, when the most significant decision of our life is taken. And lastly comes the category of bold, proactive people who are confident, that if there's anybody in this world who can find "my perfect match --> its ME"!!! Somehow end of the day all of us fall into one of these three categories !!!

Heart in heart, each of us are equaly concerned, and would like to ensure that we get the person of our dreams, someone who will not only be 'the best', but also ensure that he/she brings out the best in us!!! It might not be easy to put in metrices n quantifiers and probably this is one of the most abstract things that any human being would talk about and "quantifying requirements" (every software engg knows what I'm talking about) is simply impossible !!! :)

So, how do you go about the hunt? The first approach : Simply sit down n wait, following the DTPH funda "Someone somewhere is made for me ...and when he or she is around, you'll automatically feel the vibes"...Wow!!!That seems cool !!! If that were the case then there should be no broken hearts and no love failures, after all the vibes are two sided..!!! You got to be really fortunate for it to work both ways, and I guess that is rare...in fact I guess it works for very few..!!! So, what next, tell papa mamma....that "hey I really can't handle this mess...!!! U've ensured that I get 'the best' all my life, so here I hand you the most important decision of my life..Find me my bride/groom"...Done..!!! Sit back and RELAX!!! They do all the work, hand in a "chat ID" n say "beta, I've done all the ground work, now you check out your compatability and in one month, if you both find it okay....then 'chat mangni pat biyah'", and if things don't exactly work out between the two, then, we go about the whole process again!!! Now a "yes/no" in a months time is not all that easy, or is it?? Making the most important decision of your life in a month, over mails/chat??? Bill Gates has done quite a lot to ensure that young couples have their share of fun...But !!! Do most people succeed in makung the right decision ????

And then comes the final option, I look out on my own for the man/woman of my dreams!!! Now how easy is that. Along with the decision comes a big responsibility, THE COMPLETE responsibility of your life. This time no parents, no mama mami, no relatives, nobody will take ownership of your decision!!! You need the strength of charatcter and the maturity to see the obvious and probably the not so obvious traits in your counterpart. Probably people say 'love is blind'...but complete blindness can lead to long term short sightedness !!!So, probably a little bit of foresight and vision and sensible thought might go a long way in ensuring, that your "search result" perfectly matches your "search string"..!!! :) And finally you need a lot of conviction in your decision before you say "I do"..!!!! ....

Ofcourse as the song goes....

I just want a man with a real soul
Who wants equality and not control

I just want a man good and smart
A really sharp mind and a very big heart

I just want a man not scared to weep
To hold me close when we’re asleep

Ohhh yeah….

I  just want a man who loves romance
Who’ll clear the floor and ask me to dance

I  just want a man who likes to sing
Makes up words when I play the strings

I just want a man who gives some back
Who talks to me and not my rack

I just want a man who likes to cook
To read my dreams and share my books

I just want man whose spirit is free
To hold my hand, walk the world with me 

~.~

When will 'all' men learn to respect women !!!!???!!!

Okay...if u are a guy and still wanna read this blog, please go ahead. I really want you to know what made me write this, n hey girls, I'm sure u agree with me on this issue!!! Exceptions exists, in fact there are quite a few people around who do respect or atleast pretend to respect all women, but then given a chance I would love to record a conversation, involving the same chap, in a no-female room !!! Atleast my experience proves that there are very few guys who can respect all women, in all forms, at all times, and that reflects a lot about the guy!!! A few harmless comments, a few silly jokes are absolutely okay, but the inherent respect in a guys mind for every woman is very important, and I believe thats one of the most important traits is a 'good' man!!!

In the higher strata, its the comments and respect factor, in the lower strata, you can forget the external polish..!!! Its either too much of generosity and respect or absolute ruthless behaviour!!!
What makes me write all this. A simple incident in an auto! As usual, at the end of the day I waited on the busy road for an autorishaw, and let me tell you, convincing at auto driver to come to a place where the auto fare comes to at the max 20 is a BIG task!!! Fortunately today the second auto that stopped agreed to come...He said "Madam! Banjara Hills raste se chalenge!!!"...My major constrain was to reach home and a 2 Rupee extra, or a small deviation was absolutely okay!!!

I said fine, and trust me for the next 15 minutes I prayed to god, made all possible confessions, thought of all the sins I had committed, all promises I hadn't kept, any curses I got!!! All of a sudden a life insurance policy seemed very important to me!!! There's a very common trait in autodrivers that I have observed, those who sit with a right or a left tilt (in most cases they are unusually thin) are VERY rash drivers !!! Every 5 seconds he screeched to a halt, millimeters close to a living or non living object (that was immaterial to him)!!!

I urged him to slow down, but this man never cared to listen, he even refused to stop the vehicle!!! And finally after a complete round trip when I reached my destination he says, " Madam aapke saath ghoomne mein bahut maza aaya, kal milenge"..!!! All I could say was "Mad or what". (And I'm sure he never understood)!!! What could I do at that point of time?

If every girl in India is asked to write all instances of harrasment (mental/physical), she can come up with atleast 10 !!! These instances never come out, you tell mama and she gets tensed, you tell papa and he never lets u travel alone the next day!!! What can you do? Either u scream at the guy then and there, and console your ego or sometimes just consider it as just another part of life and simply forget it!!!

When can I be rest assured that I can walk all alone on the road at 10 in the night and be assured of reaching home safe..?? Will such a world ever exist???

Unconditional love......???!!!

Mamma called up this morning to tell me that she is sending a 'dryfruits-honey lehyam' (chavanprash equivalent) and wanted me to take a one tablespoon dose everyday. At 22, with a good job and an independent life, my parents still pamper me like they did when I was a 2 year old baby.What makes Indian parents love their kids so much...No...I don't mean to say that non-Indian's don't, but then still, what exactly makes the scenario here so different, so unique ? Parents in India don't exactly mind supporting their kids untill they are 'completely independent'....and this is probably the only criterion. Immaterial of your age, be it 25, 30 and in some cases 50, as long as your parents are alive you can be rest assured that you have a shoulder to lean, and probably this is the only quarter where you will get unconditional love !!!

What makes us so unique ? Is it the family bonding,is it the child centric family structure, is it the sense of pride that we associate with our children or is it just a tradition that we follow without a question.

I've had many arguements with my peers convincing them about the different facets of Indian culture that differentiate us from the rest of the world, and off these probably the most important aspect would be the sense of belonging and love in our parents. Ofcourse there are exceptions to the rule, there are people in slums who send their children out to the rough world at an age of 8, not just to fend for themselves but also for the entire family. but still end of the day the bonding is strong and the sense of belonging is deep!


Here's a true life story of a mother who at an age of 79 still tries to ensure that she does her mighty bit to secure her youngest sons(54) future. She's a woman who lost her husband at a very early age and her life was by default laid at the mercy of the joint family system. Her husband was an intellectual genius, he had made a fortune at an early age and was also smart enough to save and invest most of his salary. The only mistake he made was, he never thought it was necessary to teach his wife the nuances of the monetary world, and at a young age of 24 there she was all alone with three small kids and a fortune which she had no clue how to handle!!!

This might sound like just another Hindi movie of the 60s but this is true. The whole world enjoyed a share of her money and she was made to believe that she was living at their mercy. The typical petite Indian woman that she was, she agreed and let life flow past her. She loved her children and probably that was the only reason why she continued to live. But unfortunately, she did not have the guts to stand up for their rights, she did not know how to voice out her opinions. Money that the children rightfully desrved was in abundance , but unfortunately for them, they never got any of those little things that every child yearned for!!! The kids grew, without a father and probably without a strong mother, they grew up, coz' they had to, after all time flows by and you move along with it!!! The older two, learnt to fight, they learnt to live - the hard way, many a time they felt there was nobody to look up to, mama always loved them, but unfortunately she could never fight for them and could not teach them how to conquer the 'bad world'!!! The youngest son, could not fend for himself, and this is when mama's affection came up, she never taught him how to be independent, she always encouraged him to 'depend'... life has moved on, this woman lived a life without happiness for more than 50 years, and still the Indian family struture managed to bring up two children, who lead a very happy and normal life as per society norms. The third son fell a prey and lost track somewhere, but still he has a mother who is still trying her best to ensure that her son has a secure home a steady source of income till death.

Try and write a similar story from another part of the globe...?? Will a woman lead 50 years of her life with no happiness, just to ensure that she is 'there' for her children ? Are we ready to carry this tradition ahead, or are we 'modernising'..?? Is this the right track at all ..??
Why are women not strong enough to stand up for their rights..? Was her sacrifice worth it...would it not have made a big difference had she learnt to fight the 'big world'..!??!!!

The child centric Indian families will continue to strive....Parents at the verge of divorse, single parents with absolutely no inclination to look for another partner...all for one cause...."my child"...After all....-->

"Enthu paranjalum nee endethu alle vave, ninnu kinnungathe onnu kude poru poove..."..!!!

Do we really know our roots ?

A hindu woman protects a muslim man in Mr&Mrs Iyer, Mother Teresa slogged all her life to save the lives of thousands of Indians. In times of emergency, in times of distress, it doesn't really matter if u are an Indian or a Pakistani, a Hindu or a Muslim, all that matters is the person, the person concealed deep within!!!

We humans have many ways of classifying ourselves, and sometimes these distinctions overpower those subtle similarities. How far can we trace back on the timeline? The moment you make an attempt to go back on the time line, you come across many theories, the Hindu's talk about the Ramayana and the Mahabharatha and probably further back to the Shastras and the Vedas. A Christian might go back to the Bible and talk about Adam and Eve. A Muslim might come up with some other concept.

But then finally haven't we all evolved from a common root, a man and a woman (who probably evolved from an animal) !!! If it were a common root, then what made man split? How did he get dispersed across the oceans ? Or is it that we never had a common root? Man evolved "concurrently" from the ape, at different parts of the globe and each one "adapted" to his surroundings? What is it that made us so different? The climatic conditions, the geographic topology? After all, in the beginning all that man needed was food and shelter, protection, good health and 'the strength to survive' !!! Probably the distinction between people across the continents is justified. But then all of them had one trait in common - the urge to move out and meet other 'fellow humans', and there probably began man's urge to explore, to move on and mix.

At this stage surfaced the big question of 'who would follow whom'? 'who is stronger'? 'who was more confident'? And most importantly 'who communicated best'? And this was when the Europeans 'outdid' all the other fellow humans. And from then on, till date the world has probably evolved into a "vasudaiva kutumbakam", but ironically alongside the necessity to draw clear boundaries and deploy valuable resources to maintain the 'sanctity' of the borders has increased!!! Aren't we talking of contradictory concepts, we can travel faster, we can meet people across borders within a 24 hour cycle, but STILL we need to clearly demarcate our territories!!! And STILL we do not trust fellow humans!!!

Have we evolved from animals at all ? !! ??!!!

Now comes the next important classification, Religion. Religion signifies beliefs. A belief in an ultimate source of strength, a belief in the power within, and probably sometime when man lost faith in the power within he looked up to a stronger force.
This stronger force was termed God, when man felt that there were things that happened the way 'they had to', he consoled himself and drew strength from the unknown power within and gave the source many names. There is another way of looking at it, the concept of a leader, the man who had it in him to take care of himself and take care of the world around. Leader, guru, became the source of light. He was called Gods representative, but probably I would term him as the smarter amongst god's creations.
This elite class of leaders had to convince the 'lesser mortals' and this is probably the origin of the whole range of believes, superstitions, distinctions and classes.

Combining the two concepts- civilization and religion in the context of the Indian subcontinent .

There would have been one civilization in and around the Indian Subcontinent and there would have been one religion. But still today this subcontinent is home to almost every religion know on the planet. How did this happen? Assuming that the historians have got there theories right, its the Hindus who originally lived in India. Now does that mean that all the Muslims and Christians immigrated ? Zooming in a little further, Kerala is a small strip of land in South India, but this land is a home to Hindus, Muslims and Christians. But fundamentally they were all people living in a coastal strip of land. Europeans came, converted a few of them to Christrians. The Mougals converted a few of them to Muslims and a few remained what they were - Hindus. But essentially is the primitive binding force is nature and its topological classification.


What exactly distinguishes me, a Hindu from my Muslim neighbour. We have the same environmental stimuli, we work in the same office, we eat the same food, we drink the same water, in case of an emergency or a natural calamity, we respond exactly the same way !!! Except for the prayer he utters and the prayer I utter, there's fundamentally NO DISTINCTION!!!After all don't all these prayers mean the same, with a few different names ??? Then what exactly makes us question each other so much, what makes us hate each other so much? What ever the caste, creed, religion, nationality, what matters is the person within. And if every human being realizes this, we'll truly have a 'beautiful world. The sense of brotherhood, a sense of equality, love and affection will prevail.

"Religion is the reason, the world is breaking out into pieces, colour of the people, makes us locked in hate, please release us, God, come down and help us, save all the little ones, we need a teacher, you are the only one"..!!! Mind you..I said God...Not Inshallah, Jesus or Krishna !!!