Take charge!

A much cliched and very short note, more so for myself than for the world! Though, I want to hit the publish button, so anyone else who feels the same can resonate and have an awakening moment the way I just did. There are times when life becomes a big long laundry list of to-dos that you have to deal with. Day in and day out, you always have a little more to do than you actually manage to get done within the day. For a moment this morning, I tried to pause and wonder why! Why am I having an extra long to-do list. Some part of it is just me being a lot less organized when it comes to personal life than I am on the professional front. I don't typically write down. Little objects at home, remind me of associated chores and I simply get them done, or talk about it and conveniently forget it once again. For some reason, the most important things get done (mostly) in time, though the little ones fall through the crack. And when the number of forgotten 'tasks' increase a certain count, I start feeling sad and a weird sense of ' i don't have time' creeps in. Now that I have realized what the problem is, its about time, I pause, take charge, prioritize what I do each day, based on its importance, instead of what happens to meet my eye & I might have A PLENTY of time :) Let see! Though super simple, I will come back and write about, how I 'took charge' in a month! Stay tuned!

Excitement!

I am really excited about the new entrant in my life. Both she and I are waiting for her to say 'Hello World' and step into this world. The world in which I live. This is probably the moment for which I was created. She is one more of God's infinite miracles. God creates his miracles with utmost care, love and perfection. When she lands in my arms, she is going to be just that. The fact that it is up to me to mould this bundle of joy into a good citizen of God's world makes me feel so special, a little nervous and definitely very excited. Being a mom is God's best gift to a woman and I am happy its happening in my life. I can't thank my mom enough for what she has been in my life - my strength, my pride, my inspiration. I hope I can live up to it and take care of my little one the same way. Thank you Amma and looking forward to meeting my new love :)

New Beginning

I have been wanting to write for quite a long time now. I have often read of the term 'writers block' but for almost four long years now, have experienced it myself. Being able to write is a blessing. Some might wonder what I am talking about, but really, free flow of thoughts and being able to just sit aside and coherently put it across in words is sometimes hard. Sometimes one walks into a cocoon, a special place where you like to be secluded from thoughts, though not really alone. You immerse yourself in monotonous everyday happenings, fight away from any moment for yourself. You don't engage a whole lot with anybody, just go about the mundane, speak as much as you need to to get done work, spend your woken hours immersing yourself in the life of virtual characters and just live. This generation makes it so very easy with the computer and television. You fail to realize that hours, days, months and years have passed. Once you are in a shell, you are there. The longer you are there, the harder it becomes to wake up and say 'hello world'! The world around does not really miss you, its just you, refusing to connect with yourself. Sitting all alone for half an hour, eyes closed, with just oneself becomes the worst nightmare one can every imagine. And from there, you want to come back. Not because you miss the world, not because you miss close ones, but just because you miss yourself. You want that inner self, who can think clearly and coherently. Its the search for oneself. It will take time, but is sure bound to happen. Someday soon! "Yeh duniya laakh sataye, khud se khafa na rehna kabhi, Dheeme hi sahi, apne aap ko khud tak aane to de yoohin"

Superstitious Me

I always considered myself beyond those feelings of "if you got it right by wearing the white top and black skirt" this time, then may be you should wear the same combination every time"! Esp. when the dress you are wearing, or the vehicle you traveled by or the first person you spoke to that day has no direct correlation with the "success metric"! But no, looks like I have done it too! Esp. during tough times, those little 'lucky charms' seem to be peeping their head out n saying..'use me'!!!

It might sound ridiculous, but there seem to be many who fall a prey to this wierd tendency to correlate the 'not so correlated' factors to success. And busy basking at the glory of present success, we forget to register in our mind things that 'really did make a difference'.

That makes me wonder if success indeed can be reasoned out? Are there always these list of things that indeed made a difference? Does the age old adage of 'hard work leads to success' and 'secret of success is consistency of purpose' really explain everything ? Is there this big facet of unexplainable 'something' that is a significant ingredient? We try n call it Gods blessing, luck, miracle, life levels out..n many such things!

Nah, I am not trying to say that its all about luck, I am wondering if luck is a player, then not all of my future is correlated to what I do today or ever did in the past. Whats so new about that ? Nothing! We all know that future is not predictable, there is a lot of uncertainty and no one knows what 5 days from now is really going to be all about! But then, if that true, they why at all are we trying to be careful and planned and prepared for something that we have no clue about! What is the mad rat race all about? Think short term, plan short term n do what your heart n soul is happy about! Anything beyond that seems unconceivable to the human brain.

Then why try and predict something and be so scared if someone actually goes back to trends out ur prediction over the years ? Would the curve overlap with reality ? With a remote probability of it does, can you be rest assured that the overlap will continue ?

That doesn't seem very convincing, does it? Guess I need more coherence...Will continue!

Tenali Rama

An Amazing lesson to all looking for a job!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S44g8SHdiNU&feature=related

Miracles : Do they really happen ?

Some of the best things that happenend to me came from no where, at times when they were least expected.

So much that they force me into believing in 'good times' when just about every single move clicks and 'bad times' when best efforts seem futile!

But when there is a global problem and pretty much 80% of the world is going thru 'bad times', do these 'universe conspiring to make things happen' theories still hopd in equilibrium ? Neone tried running numbers ?

I prefer ... a few ... to ... many!

This time I am speaking as a customer and am talking about all the product options lying before me. I still remember my second day in the United States and my first visit to Walmart! I can almost affirmatively say that I was lost. There were atleast 10 and at the max I guess 30 options per product type - and this could range from basic ingredients like Sugar, Salt and even Milk! It was almost a rush, when my friend who had been kind enough to take me shopping wanted me to grab all that I wanted to and belive me or not, at the end of almost an hour, I was confused, dazed, wondering how I should wade through this without reading the specs on every product!

Having lived in India, where the largest departmental store will have not more than an average of 2 options per product, I had no clue how I would walk the maze! Shampoo, moisturizer, shoes, dresses, swimsuit, ...name just about the next plan on your agenda and you have to research through website and figure out what fits you right! Coming to think of it, I wonder why?  Is there a reason why we need so many options?

Putting on my thinking hats I was wondering why.  Most obvious reason seemed to be the diversity associated with the place. But then I wonder if United States is more diverse than India ? Every Indian metro should have a fair representation from about 20 different cultures to say the least, and this does not include the diversity brought in during immigration. Why is it that we do not have so much choice ? Is it that our consumers are not demanding, or is it that we have got conditioned to live on the usuals ? I cannot somhow accept that the Indian consumer is mundane and ease to tame! No way! 

Is it that the consumer is more aware of the product here ? The constituents and what they want in it ? Or  are there so many entrepreneurs here, that results in so many product options and each one almost "creates" a reason why his product is different from the rest ? I really wonder why ?

The irony lies in the fact, that despite so many options, I have not been successful in locating that one product that exactly mathes the one and only option that was available back home. May be I am a lazy shopper, or may be, the right stuff is always way too expensive! But, coming to think of it, I prefer buying a single packet of Aavin milk that serves as a source of all vitamins and minerals and works as a wholesome food to a vegetarian, as opposed to being deficient in Vitamin B12 just coz' I chose to buy '2% low-fat milk' as opposed to "whole milk"! May be I did not read the product description, or may be, there is indeed an alternative. Whatever, I know it for a fact, that end of the day, I miss India and the easy shopping that happenend there!

Companionship ?

Courtesy: http://nikisays.blogspot.com/

Dazzle with Zazzle!

Have been interning with Zazzle.com, a five year old bay area start up over the last month. And must confess, its been an amazing journey so far, this summer…

At the face of it, Zazzle might appear to be just another player in the online apparel market. Though over the last two years its evolved to be so much more that all that. One visit to the manufacturing unit, and I was impressed with the effort the company puts into completely changing the manufacturing style of established goods: to product them with the best of quality & finish, in the least turnaround time the industry has ever seen. And the best part, the company ensures that all this is brought to your monitor at the most economic price!

Every attempt to brand this place as an online market place, an apparel player, a youth crowd puller just about failed. This company seems to be all about innovation, and whats tough about innovation here is, they innovate on the most established age old manufacturing process of basic everyday commodities.

Awaiting an exciting journey with Zazzle!

Grad Life!

I have been writing and discarding blogs a million times over the last 6 months (oh man ! its been half a year in Stanford)! I cannot believe it! Finally decided to pen down random, arbit thoughts as they come by and click -'Publish Post' :)

The quarter system is indeed crazy. There is so much to do and so little time to spare, that almost every single second you spend relaxing, you are gonna enjoy it! I was blessed with the best start an international grad student can ask for. One of my best pals, was a student in the same department, living in the same apartment complex wrapping up her last two quarters! I inherited, a friend circle, all the department gyan, amazing company, comfortable shopping rides, great vacation trips, a of course a taste of US life, from her. To add to these, ofcourse, was complete tuition waiver and a big fat stipend in the first quarter. I was PAMPERED !!!! And as it happens with most pampered kids - spoilt !!! :P

Grad life is never complete without its share of struggles, and now I am slowly entering the grind. For most students, its a transition from struggles to comforts - with me (as is always the case), the graph has a tweaked course of ascent! Am into my second quarter now, almost mid way through - working part time with a front desk office, earning just enough to take care of living expenses and hunting for and internship and assistantship for the next few quarters. It can be a little distressing, but I guess this is what makes it worth the ride. I guess the pain wouldn't have been worth a mention had I not got used the comforts of corporate life over the last three years of life!

There is so much to do at Stanford, and every moment spent unproductive feels like a burden. Dance, music, sports, art, history, politics, entrepreneurship, health, food - there is sooooo much to learn. Every student I walk past has something great to offer, to this world. There is so much untapped talent all around and a 4-5 quarter masters program does not do justice to this place. To truly become a Stanford student - you ought to be an undergrad here, and if you have missed that slot, then plug yourself into the PhD program. Of course, in the latter, the university leaves the onus of making the best of the place almost entirely on you!

Disclaimer : All statements above are personal opinions and the reader is not obliged to believe them as is :) Ciao !

As we all part ways ...

Its been two long years .... Since the day we all stepped into this big corporation with dreams to being "professionals" and discovering the little space in each others heart where we could still be new college pass outs :)

We enjoyed those long discussions, arguements, back bench commentory...but(t)-wara sessions.., evening cafeteria sessions, noisy fifth floor screams, vocab sessions, bravo news, CAT discussions, GRE preps, advises, lectures, technology overviews...., annual days, dances, team lunch n dinner, birthday parties, movies, treats, lunch sessions, chai sessions ....
So much and yet so little...I wonder if I have covered two years here... It was great to have a wonderful bunch of friends...As P always says...Your first job mates are always...ur best pals..Come what may :)

Here we are all..each heading in a different direction.... bidding adieu to one another..with a smile on our face and all good wishes in our hearts...holding back all those amazing memories and wishing nothing but to best for the future ...

I will miss you all ... Our 5th floor gang rocks :) Bravo...!!! Good Luck to Ya All.... Where ever u are..U'll rock :)

The budding cartoonist! -- Zoom in to See

Pursuit of Happ'y'ness

Back to blogging after a long long while. Life indeed has changed over the last few months. From days that seemed to reflect monotony, I have learnt the art of generating vibes. I've started loving a new day....more n more. The transition was seamless. Thank You God :)

"Pursuit of Happ'y'ness" is a very ordinary story...the kind of story normal people can relate to, the kind of life that you and me live. The movie brought back to life some questions I've often asked myself .....

- Why did God bring me to earth ?
- Do I want to live a life as ordinary as the billions around me ?
- What is my mission in life ? What is that one thing that I am born to do that God felt no one else in this universe would do ?
- Is success really measured in terms of reputation, money, social relations and standards ?
- How would I say thank you to God for making me more fortunate than the kid born in slums ?
- How do I pay back God/Nature/Mother Earth/India ?

I've never really found answers to these questions. Being materialistic matters a lot, being successful matters a lot, but somewhere deep within I wonder if these are what really matter ?

Would I be really happy the day I become the woman of my dreams, with a successful career, a happy married life, well groomed children, happy parents? Are these in itself too much to ask for. Is the quest to look for some satisfaction over and above these, being a little too demanding ?

I still wonder ... ?

Backkkk

Its been a long long time...I've been a little busy over the last few months...Am trying to be a little creative, though I don't seem to be quite good at it..

- I've started liking costly-tricklets (oxymoron??) !
- I feel like growing my tresses (a little below my shoulder...tresses!! )
- My footwear now has a 3 inch heel !
- I exercise every morning!!

BIG changes!!! Am wondering if its the age . or its just me ??

Wedding Bells all around :)

Nope...It isn't me... But the world arnd seems to be getting married... :) I got to hear of my 6th friend getting engaged/married within a span of a month, ofcourse, there are 3-4 pending in June :). Not sure, if it is with my age, with the young industry arnd me or just a "co"-incidence...but yeah - Its wedding time :) Some seem happy, some shocked, all slowly realishing an cautiously stepping into the new world from where there is no looking back

The world around me is growing more n more responsible, most friends are buying new homes, those who are in charge of life are moving on for higher studies, those who aren't and are relatively satisfied with their academic and work life are moving on to the state of marital bliss. But yeah...the world is indeed "progressing" from one state to the next.

Am I missing something... Oops... but me not feeling unrest as yet...Hmmm :)) Long way to go :))

(: Congratulation to all/ would - be newly wedded couples :)

Happy Birthday to Me ... :)

Bhabhi just handed me my first birthday gift ...a beautiful bouquet with 2 roses :) A brilliant surprise ...

Suddenly realized...another year of me growing older and wiser has gone by! As I look back at the twenty odd years of awareness... I reminisce many images....

Bhaiyya hugging little me and calling me "unni", me crying, pleading, making a fuss for a small ball ice cream.... me fighting with bhaiyya and all my cousins for the window seat, putting a night out (3 o clock) in my third standard to make up for the 15 day delay to join school at Chennai, me throwing a set square at bhaiyya n it escaping his eyes by a few mms....me n bhaiyya quitely watching snails at the backyard in Assam, ...., me jumping off the rickshaw on the first day to school... n papa sitting with me in class the whole day.......

There are sooo sooo many instances, ... life had been too good to me.... Today I am a girl at the best of my life...the peak which could be called the pinnacle, be it intellect or beauty there couldn't be a period better than the mid twenties... :))

I am happy the way I am - a little crazy, a little weird, so very confused ... sometimes as bold as a queen and sometimes as meek as a mice.... sometimes with dreams of conquering the world ... n sometimes at absolute peace with status-quo.....Wondering with anxious eyes... at what tomorrow would bring me, scared of the uncertain tomorrow ... and yet so very excited about it... :)

Thank You to all my friends, those who are in touch, and those who aren't...I love you alll...!!! Life couldn't have been any better to me .. n I would love to cherish my today with all of you... :))

Welcome 2007.... Am looking forward to another year to growing up, of learning to love and being loved....

Happy Birthday to Me....:))

Dealing with change ...

I've started realizing an obvious reality of life, which I guess someday everyone realizes - "Life indeed moves on". Old elderly pass away and new babies are born, people walk in and out of life, sometimes we move away from loved ones and sometimes they walk out of our life, we win a few deals, we lose out on a few, sometimes we feel our eternal highs and sometimes we get a taste of life's all time lows....we change, our surroundings change - but end of the day - as the world around us transforms - we realize that to evolve we got to realign ourselves, adjust and again become an integral part of the eternal whole.

What differentiates one from the other, is the way we deal with these transformations. There are those, who quietly let the world transform, stay still (like a small spec staying still in the center of a huge whirlpool, being sucked in and yet staying still and maintaining its calm) ; as the world realigns itself, they quietly wait and observe the world around with absolute tranquility, and once the world settles itself, they conveniently fall into their niche.

On the other hand there are others, who get perturbed by the turbulence and sway away from the center. As the world realigns itself around them, they try to realign themselves. They waste a lot of energy, worrying, getting depressed, feeling sad about themselves. They do not watch the changes, they do not learn from them, they are too preoccupied with themselves. And these people take much longer to gain normalcy.

There are very few who have the courage and patience to be the former, and in this era of tremendous changes, this is what differentiates The best from the rest !

My beloved ...

He sent me her snap...
He'd captured her perfectly;
Picture perfect she stood;
Amidst those beaaaaaaautiful trees :)

He treated her like a damsel;
In her lush green attire,
She was his perfect company,
On those long solitary drives !!!

One fine day, he handed her to me,
His eyes, full of grieve;
I promised him, I'd take care of her...
As much as ; if not better than he !!!

With trembling hands, I held her the first time,
We gradually became friends, best of friends ;
She taught me to be independent;
She made me proud; really proud of myself :)

We spent time together,
We grew fonder n fonder of one another,
One fine day, she faltered a little,
Yet.. I love her coz'....
She kept me safe, as safe as a gem !!

But alas! A fault, is a fault is a fault !!!
We wondered, if we could still trust her,
We decided to barter... barter her off to safe hands
After much deliberation and remorse...
I sold my car...my beloved car ... :((
Adieu my dear , adieu...

Merry Christmas

Wishing all my blog readers

"Merry Christmas"

:))

I miss the yummy cake, the tasty candies, lovely flowers, the tiny wine glasses & tasty

savories !!!

A few absurd comments !!!

* "Humne to tumhe ladki samjha hi nahin !!!" What is it with the world, I do not understand. Looks like people are expecting typical prototypes as girls. Girls walk like this, they stand like this, they talk like this, they sound like this...Man !!! Girls are a huge set, they form the latter half of the society, take a break guys...no prototypes !!! Give them a chance to be as unique as they are !!!

* My little sis, has come to Hyd, for a few days...!!! She's been trying her mighty best to find a groom for me. And the only logical reason seems to be the fact that, chronologically, she landed on earth after me, n that shall be the order in which we get married. Now, now, now ... the most important part...she's FIVE years younger to me..!!! Where's the hurry ?? Neways..One brillaint advise from her " Don't marry any of those US mapplai's .... Avade kandavare okke umma vakkyum" !!! For those who do not understand this statement, go to an interpretter, its worth it :) I tried my best to convince her otherwise, but, she seems to be pretty sure of her opinion !! :)

* These lines have made me think quite deep over the last few days...

Madiralaya janeko ghar se nikalata hai pinewala,
Kis path per jau asamanjas main hai wo bholabala,
Alag alag path batalate sab, Per main yeh batalata hun,
Rah pakad kar too chala chal, Paa jayega Madhushala.

Shaayad ek path pakadne ka waqth aakhir aa hi gaya :)